Songs For This Rainy Thursday

It's a rainy day in Joplin. For those of you experiencing it with me, here are some songs that go along with the weather. Enjoy.

10. The Sky Is Crying - Elmore James (He did it before anyone did).



09. Runaway - Del Shannon (The chorus references rain)



08. A Little Fall of Rain - Les Miserables (if this doesn't tug at the heart strings you're dead inside)



07. Smokey Mountain Rain - Ronnie Milsap (CHEEEEEEEEESE! But also great)



06. Stormy Monday Blues - Bobby Bland (This was my dad's favorite blues song)



05. A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall - Bob Dylan



04. Rain - The Beatles



03. Fire and Rain - James Taylor



02. Stormy Weather - Lena Horne



01. Over The Rainbow - Israel Kamakawiwo'ole (Yeah, Wizard of Oz one is also great, but I looooooove this one).

Songwriting Spank Material - "These Days"

I could have put some heavy hitters up there to represent Jackson Browne - "The Pretender," "Barricades of Heaven." "Fountain of Sorrow," "For A Dancer," and "Doctor My Eyes" - but I chose this song instead. Jackson Browne claims he wrote this song when he was sixteen, but if he did then he was probably the wisest sixteen year old in teenage history. This seemingly simple song is about someone who has gotten older and is looking back at missed chances and failed opportunities, and it hits me very deep every time. I think we can all relate to this song. I think we all look back on our experiences and wish we had done some things differently. Apart from relating to the song, there are some choice lyrics woven into the simple chord progression:

"And I had a lover
But it's so hard to risk another these days.
These days.
Now if i seem to be afraid...to live the life I have made in song
Well it's just that I've been losing...so long"(<---that would be the line that gets me) "These days I'll set on corner stones and count the time in quarter tones to ten. Don't confront me with my failures... I had not forgotten them."(<----This gets me too) I don't want to go on and on. Just listen to it yourself.

I AM NERD!

Everyone is excited for Hurley Con

There was a calling Saturday. Not everyone could hear it, but it was there, a sound in the air that only a few could hear. It was a familiar sound to people who thumb through old dust covered comic books, who roll dice of various sides, shuffle cards with pictures of demons on them, or who keep action figures in their boxes and hang them on their walls. Yes, Saturday there was a calling, and every nerd in the Four State area donned their finest superhero t-shirt, wiped clean their social calendars, and made the trek to the Jack Lawton Webb Convention Center for Hurley Con, the annual comic convention hosted by Hurley's Heroes.

Nerd Orgy

The air was thick with the smell of pizza, old comic books, and body odor, and I was among them. I went with my friend Valentin, and we met our friends Addison, Jason, and Erin. I'm not a huge comic book reader like my friends, but I am a Star Trek Fan, and I thought maybe I could find a table with some Star Trek stuff. As luck would have it, I did. Through Erin, I found out about a Star Trek group called STARFLEET: The International Star Trek Fan Association, Inc. that had a chapter here in Joplin. These guys had a table, and I talked for awhile with the Captain on the group (whose name escapes me). He told me that his Commodore usually handled a lot of the PR stuff, and that he'd be there soon. I took his pamphlet and walked away slowly. These guys were just a little too into it for my liking.

Commodore Ray Brown did indeed show up later, in full uniform

Aside from the Star Trek guys, Hurley Con offered a lot of great entertainment that covered every facet of nerdom.

Toys

"I'll be quack"

LARP (Live Action Roleplaying)

Dungeons and Dragons + No Self Control or Humility = LARP

Costumes

"I'm Green Lantern, and I'm FABULOUS"

Boy, Supergirl really let herself go!

Artists

This piece was purchased by my friend Val from Amber Stone, follow the link to view her other pieces. She is talented.

And of Course...Comics

This is in issue of Lois Lane that guest stars Catwoman as the villain. You probably can't tell, but Catwoman has somehow turned Superman into a cat and has him in a cage (bottom left) with a sign that says "Superpussycat formerly Superman." This scheme is as diabolical as it is adorable.

All jokes aside, it was a really fun day. There was a costume contest for kids and adults and demos for role playing games and for trading card games. All in all, it was a nerd paradise for a few hours Saturday, and even yours truly got caught up in it.

Awesome! I always wanted to know about these.

How to run my own convention? In my dreams, maybe.

Spock Messiah? Where do I sign up for that religion?

This was $2.00. It's autographed by Armin Shimerman (Quark), Rene Auberjonois (Odo), and Nana Visitor (Kira). I will make it my life's mission to get the autographs of Avery Brooks (Sisko), Terry Farrell (Dax), and Colm Meaney (O'Brien)

Recent Awkwardness at Le's Cafe

I love getting lost is my own town. What I mean to say is that I love getting off (hehehe...I said getting off...also, I'm thirteen) the beaten path and finding new places to eat, places a lot of people don't know about. Recently, I discovered such a place - Le's Cafe. Well, to say I discovered it is a bit of a stretch. I discovered it the way Columbus discovered a New World with people already living there. Le's was already busy and thriving by the time I discovered it. Apparently their secret was already out, and I just missed the boat. From the outside, Le's looks like any ordinary family style restaurant, but when you go in you find out why it isn't. Le's, as it turns out, is owned and almost completely operated by Asian people (I say Asian because I'm not really sure what nationality they are, probably Korean or Vietnamese). I was skeptical. What the hell do Asian people know about cooking mashed potatoes? Then I quickly remembered what Anthony Bourdain taught me about the food industry in his book Kitchen Confidential, that the food cooked in his French style bistro, and the food cooked in most restaurants in New York, is prepared by hard working line chefs from all parts of the world. That is, when you go out for Italian, your authentic Italian cuisine was probably made by someone who was born thousands of miles outside of Italy. The ability to cook is a gift. Some people have it and some people don't. If you have the gift, though, you can learn any style. So why not homestyle cuisine cooked by Asian people. I decided to try it, and as it turns out, Le's puts out some good food. The quality of Le's cuisine is not what I wanted to write about. My theme here is recent awkwardness, and on two occasions at Le's, I was privy to some weird situations.

The first happened around Thanksgiving. This was actually my first visit to Le's. I was in line to pay, and there was a man in front of me talking to Le. The man was from NCO, a call center located right next door to Le's, and he was asking Le about catering for NCO on Thanksgiving. Apparently NCO was going to remain open that day, and he wanted to have food available for the people who had to come in, a nice gesture.

"Is that something you could do?" he asked Le.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We make big huge dinner, giant turkey, all da fixins, you like," Le replied ina thick Asian accent.

In all my years I have spoken to many Asian people, many with thick accents. None of them sounded remotely close to this. This was easily the most stereotypical thing I'd ever heard. The first thing I thought of was the scene from A Christmas Story where Ralphie's family has to go to the Chinese restaurant for Christmas dinner because the Bumpus hounds wrecked the Christmas turkey. Here's the scene:



As the sounds of "fa-ra-ra-ra-ra" reverberated through my subconscious, it was hard for me to keep from laughing, and part of me felt like an asshole for wanting to laugh, but I felt better after I told this story to my friends and family because without prompting on my part, every single one of them had the same though. I guess we're all assholes to some degree. The other situation came about a month later, and requires a degree of set up on my part.

Some people just shouldn't joke. Let's face it, the nuances of comedy are lost on some and come easily to others. Among my list of people who should not joke are old gruff farm guys. You know the kind...they wear flannel shirts all year long...looks like they've owned the same pair of overalls for ten years...they have a knife in a holster on their belt...boots caked with ancient manure...some sort of farm equipment hat or old brimmed hat on their head. I've interacted with some men like this over the years, and I find there is a universal consistency with them - there is no difference between when they're joking and when they're serious. For example:

"Mother, we lost forty cows in the flood."

"I once shot an elephants in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."

You see? No difference in tone, inflection, or anything. We're always left wondering if old Jonathan Kent here actually meant what he said. My second situation at Le's had just such an old man as a main character.

Again, I was in line waiting to pay. The two people in front of me was Pa Kettle here and his wife. Le was striking up some conversation with them, and it was mainly the wife responding. Pa would interject every now and then, and it always made a somewhat pleasant exchange into something awkward.

"How did you like your food?" Le asked.

"Oh, it was very good. I had the meatloaf," Ma responded.

A few seconds of silence as Le types into the register. "You need to turn that hat around," Pa said, pointing to Le's USA baseball hat.

"I got to turn it around otherwise steam fogs up my glasses."

"You should turn it around anyway," the old man grunted. His wife chuckled awkwardly in response.

This is one of many examples of the kind of warm banter that took place, but it is not the worst. I knew the man was giving Le a hard time and trying to be funny, but it didn't sound like it. He sounded gruff and cranky. I had a grandpa like him, so I know what joking cranky and actual cranky sound like. Le did not, and the situation became weird. The sad thing is, this wasn't the worst of the awkwardness. Oh no, that distinction goes to the following:

"Okay, meatloaf special, cheeseburger combo, water, and Dr. Pepper," Le said to himself.

"Actually, it was Diet Dr. Pepper," Ma said.

"It doesn't matter. They're all the same price," Le responded.

Silence...silence...silence. Pa looked at mom (not at Le, mind you) "They're all the same."

Again, he failed at comedy. His tone was rough, and he did not make eye contact with Le. To the passing observer it would seem like he was making a really insensitive generalization of Asian people, that they're all the same, but he wasn't. He just really sucked at joking around with people. Sadly, Le didn't pick up on this. He gave the man a look that would melt solid granite, and slowly handed Ma her receipt. "Yeah...they all da same," is all he said and the two of them left.

Songwriting Spank Material - "I'm Going To Go Back There Someday"

Sometimes my influences escape the realm of popular music and dwell in areas that might surprise you. When I was eleven I got a tape for Christmas, The Beatles Greatest Hits, and it changed everything about music for me. I heard the Beatles and other Rock and Roll bands from the 50's, 60's, and 70's a lot on the ride to Kansas City when I had to go for an appointment, but before the age of eleven, and getting that tape for Christmas, I didn't listen to a lot of Rock and Roll or Pop music. There was, however, a music that did dominate my ears from the age of zero until that Christmas when I got that Beatles tape. All my life (and still to this day) I was a tremendous fan of the Muppets, and their music was my music for the first eleven years of my life. I watched the Muppet Show whenever I could. I watched the movies whenever I could. I tried not to miss Fraggle Rock. I even watched Sesame Street past the age that most kids stop watching that show (Sesame Street before Elmo began to monopolize it). I had Muppet toys, Muppet books, Muppet shirts, Muppet bed linens. I idolized Jim Henson. I grieved tremendously when he died. And during all this, I had two tapes of Muppet music that I listened to constantly (until they finally wore out, that is).

When I was a kid I thought Jim Henson wrote the music for the shows and movies. He did everything else, and was a creative genius, why wouldn't he write the songs? It wasn't until later in life that I found out that a bulk of what is considered memorable when it comes to Muppet music were written by two guys. The first was Joe Raposo, who you probably have never heard of, but if you watch Sesame Street then you know his work. The songs he wrote or co-wrote include (among many many others): "Bein' Green," "C Is For Cookie," "Sesame Street Theme Song," "Sing," and most (if not all) of the songs for the film segments (i.e. where they show how they make peanut butter, where they show different people sleeping, etc.). The other guy is Paul Williams. Williams wrote or co-wrote a bulk of the Muppet's movie songs including: "Rainbow Connection," "Moving Right Along," "When The River Meets The Sea," and the song I am going to talk about next (He also wrote a bunch of non-Muppet songs in the 70's for the Carpenters, Three Dog Night, and others, and he's also the president of ASCAP).

"I'm Going to Go Back There Someday" is a brilliant song. For those unfamiliar with it, let me give you some context. This song comes from The Muppet Movie (1979), and comes at a major plot point. The movie begins with Kermit deciding he is going to travel to Hollywood so he can become a movie star, and along the way he meets all his Muppet pals. Chasing them is a restaurant magnate named Doc Hopper who owns a chain of frog leg restaurants and wants Kermit to be his spokesfrog. Kermit doesn't want any part of Hoppers proposal, so Hopper does what any reasonable business man would do - He stalks Kermit, tries to pressure him into signing on, and after Kermit makes it clear he doesn't want to be a part of the Doc Hopper Empire, hires assassins to pursue the frog and his friends and kill them. At the point in the movie where we get to this song, a lot has happened. The gang has just escaped another Doc Hopper trap at county fair that saw Gonzo fly away by holding onto a big bundle of balloons. After they escape, Fozzie's car breaks down on the side of the road and the gang is stranded. Kermit is feels bad for endangering his friends and for bringing them on the trip in the first place. Everyone asks him what they should do, and he snaps at them. Then we get the song.

The song itself can be taken literally. Gonzo is singing it about being up in the sky, flying with his bundle of balloons and how he wants to do it again, but like all good songs it has the ability to meet people on different levels. For me, this song stirs up a lot of different emotions. I think it's because I've known this song my whole life, and it's reached me on different levels at different points. When I was a kid going through chemo, the song had a more literal meaning for me. "going back there" meant my childhood, kindergarten, and my friends. As a teenager, I remember someone playing this song at The Hole in the Wall Gang Camp. It was my last year as a camper there, and "going back there" meant camp...not just the physical location, mind you...but the metaphysical place that was like a demiplane of normal in a world that otherwise wasn't. Now as an adult, the song means even greater things to me. When I hear it I'm reminded of William Wordsworth own struggle of "going back there," yearning for his childhood at Grasmere. And as such, I am reminded of the artist's journey, of foraging ahead and reinventing but of also trying to rekindle and reconnect with creations past. True, the song is poppy, and sappy, and riddled with hooks, but none of that takes away from its brilliance, and I don't know many people who hate it.

Songwriting Spank Material - "Pale Green Things"

The Mountain Goats are a band I've only recently discovered, and really that's alright. I have their entire discography, and I think I would have been turned away from them if I would have discovered them earlier. A lot of their early recordings are lo-fi, and I pretty much hate everything that is lo-fi. My friend Clint Carroll introduced me to The Mountain Goats (Clint has yet to steer me in an ill direction musically). He told me the lead singer reminded him of me, both vocally and lyrically, and he told me I'd probably enjoy their album The Sunset Tree. He was right. Every song on it is utterly brilliant. It's one of the few albums I own that I have to listen to from start to finish. Some tracks of note include - "You and Your Memory," "Broom People," "This Year," "Dance Music," "Up The Wolves," "Song For Dennis Brown," "Love Love Love," and the song I'm going to talk about now.

"Pale Green Things" is a brilliant song, but lyrically I don't think it's the strongest on the album. That distinction would probably have to go to "Song For Dennis Brown" or "Love Love Love." But again, I'm not trying to identify the best song on the album. I'm trying to identify my favorite, and "Pale Green Things" takes the prize for me. Why? Well, there are a couple of reasons. First, I think from a vocal standpoint this song is the most emotional. It's about the death of someone who was at least somewhat close to the singer, and the strings add a tremendous amount of sorrow to it. Sometimes the feeling you put behind your vocals can help turn a mediocre song into something brilliant. Ben Folds does this a lot with passionate vocals and fiery piano playing. The other reason I like this song is because of that pesky resonance factor, it conjures some personal emotions in me, and reminds me of my grandfather. On the last day of his life, my grandfather got to see his sister who lived a long way away, got to watch his grandson (not me) run in a track meet, and finished his day with a beer and some salami and hard bread. You'll understand why I conjure this memory when you listen to the song.